ABOUT US

The story of how two local men parlayed a moderate gambling addiction into a thriving alcoholic concern in the city of Austin is a long and interesting one.

And here it is.

It all began with the filing of Form 637A, the application for a small business or farm. Once the two men realized they didn’t have the horses to start the farm, they used some Wite-Out to correct a couple checked boxes on said form and decided to turn Uncle Cade’s Mens Only Horse Farm into Uncle Cade’s Mens Only Bath House. An additional form was filed to allow women on the premises as well as a name change to Latchkey. But before we go too far into this story, let me tell you about the two men: Cade “Believe To Achieve” Cauley and Adam “Insert Joke Here” Morgan.

Cade Julien Cauley was born on February 14th, 1971 to Joan and Big Charlie Caulstien. He was raised in the Florida suburb of Matthew’s Gates, and spent most of his time in a sewage runoff in the back that he called Poo Poo Town. In 2011, he graduated high school, said goodbye to Poo Poo Town, and made his way to Hollywood. The constant rejection in auditions (he kept trying out for children’s rolls even though he was 30) gave Cade cause to move back to Florida, but on the way he stopped in a small town called Austin, Texas. After interning with up-and-coming senator Ted Cruz, Cade found his true calling: hot dogs. He ate them all day and night and bathed with them and wrote them letters and pretended they were his children. Once his friends got him into therapy, he met and married the love of his life, Jenny. Jenny promised the courts that she wouldn’t encourage his hot dog fantasies, but it was no use.

Cade and Jenny live in Austin with their son Hot Dog.